Snow and Richmond

Via The Architect. This might explain my pre-occupation…

Snow is Coming!

According to the Richmond Times-Dispatch and every meteorologist in town, Richmond is going to get a nice snowfall this weekend. The snow is supposed to start as early as Friday afternoon and continue into Saturday.
In case you’re new to Richmond, let me tell you how we do it here.

Someone somewhere says snow is coming to Central Virginia.
We Richmonders start paying attention.
Someone says it’s coming to Richmond.
We Richmonders really start paying attention.
Someone brandishes the word “accumulation.” Done. Finished. Over. We who call Richmond home all-out lose our minds. In the case of this snow, it happens like this:

Tuesday morning: The word “accumulation” is used.
Tuesday afternoon: Accumulation confirmed. All weekend plans put on stand-by or out-right canceled.
Tuesday evening: First trip to supermarket for bread, milk, wine, beer and cookie dough.
Wednesday morning / afternoon: Calls around town for sleds begin (for the record, Richmond.com is one step ahead. No one has them; Pleasant’s Hardware is expecting a shipment on Friday).
Wednesday evening: Local news does a story about the run on supermarkets for bread and milk. Second trip to supermarket for extra bread and milk, plus frozen pizzas and non-perishables, because you never know.
Thursday morning / afternoon: Spend workday obsessively checking the forecast. More calls for sleds. Search online for sleds, but decide against them because you can’t believe how much sleds actually cost.
Thursday evening: Meet friends out for drinks or dinner because you never know when you’ll get out again. Realize you forgot to buy bagels. How could you forget bagels? Third trip to supermarket.
Friday morning: Alternate staring out window for snow and consulting forecast for exact snow start time. Cancel the rest of weekend plans.
Friday afternoon: Weather.com reports that it is snowing in your area. Run to window. Spend at least one hour yelling at weather.com because it is clearly not snowing. Ask boss about company inclement weather policy. Complain about said policy. Wait an hour; ask boss if company is closing early.
Friday evening: Fourth trip to supermarket on the way home for last-minute necessities, like chocolate and fancy hot cocoa. Alternate staring out window and watching local news for exact snow start time. Watch the Closings scroll to see if your work is closed on Monday, because you never know.
Friday night: Snow finally begins. Call/text all of your friends and family to see if it’s snowing in their area and to make sure they’re OK in the storm. Update Facebook status to reflect snowfall in case you missed anyone. Order pizza so you don’t have to break into rations too soon.
Saturday morning: Marvel at snowfall. Fling pets / children into the snow so they can marvel and so you have pictures for your Facebook page.
Saturday afternoon: Drive or trudge to nearest hill and attempt to sled on a cookie sheet/shower curtain/trashcan lid/pool float.
Saturday evening: Meet friends for out for drinks or dinner to celebrate snow.
Sunday: Eat leftover pizza and stare out window, watching snow melt. Obsessively watch Closings list. Feel happy when the county you once lived in announces closing and then sad because you never became a teacher and now you have to go out, clean off the car and then go to work tomorrow. Plus you’ve got all that bread and milk to eat.

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14 Responses to Snow and Richmond

  1. Turling says:

    Insert “Los Angeles” for “Richmond” and “rain” for “snow” and you would describe us here to a T.

  2. ami says:

    Oh, how I miss living in Richmond!!

    But you never get over it–Dad is in the hospital, which means Mom is on her own. I have called her every hour to see if it’s snowing/she’s been to the store/she has heat,phone,tv,etc./cell phone is charged/someone knows she’s alone to check in on her….

    Baltimore just says,”Huh. More snow. Nice.” Nothing closes, people don’t hit the markets and I feel like an idiot for doing my little Southern Belle routine!

  3. Kathy says:

    Of course here in Virginia Beach it’s the same. You described it perfectly. Thanks for the laugh….now I’d better get to the store……

  4. Ami, no reason not to stock up on some bourbon. You know, just in case.

    Turling, Yikes! Really? That’s some scary rain. I don’t mind rain. As long as it’s not bitterly cold. Do you have a good raincoat and hat? Just curious.

  5. Paul says:

    “Fling pets / children into the snow “. . . . .

    had me rolling on the floor!

    (sometimes I miss the snow)

  6. Paula says:

    This is the funniest thing I have ever read. Even though, here up North, we have snow frequently, your description of the weatherman, news reports, and grocery store describes winter in Omaha to a T! Add to the list: numerous news stories about the city snow plows, how worn out they are and that we don’t have any money to buy new ones (every year this story runs at the beginning of the snow season), the strategy for where they will transport the snow to, and lots of newscasters standing out in the middle of the road, snow blowing, wearing a muffler, telling us how awful it is. Hysteria sets in–the manicurist bails out on all of her clients for the day, even though the snow hasn’t even started . . . I could go on!

  7. Ami says:

    Well, we ARE getting snow in Charm City after all! A couple of inches so far, and it’s still coming down steadily–it’s gorgeous!

    Good thing we stocked the bar and the larder!!

    Stay warm, Mr. E and enjoy!

  8. Lisa M says:

    OMG! Your posting of: “Tuesday evening: First trip to supermarket for bread, milk, wine, beer and cookie dough.” is SO what happened when I was growing up in Iowa and we were getting a blizzard (happened frequently by the way). Anyway, mom didn’t get cookie dough, she got the goods for Toll House cookies. Fast forward to 1983 (1984??) and husband (Texan)/I are living in Houston. My brother(Iowan) is spending the summer with us and Hurricane Alicia is heading our way. My husband is busy helping with patients being evacuated from Corpus and Galveston and is not able to come home and so fortunately my brother is with me to see me through the storm. My brother and I do what we’ve always done when the weather is threatening: go to the store and get milk and chocolate chip cookie ingredients. What do Yankees know about hurricanes??? (Absolutely NOTHING!!!). Thankfully we survived unscathed and had plenty of milk and cookies to see us through. Don’t know a thing about hurricanes, snow storms I can deal with. Today I would include wine on the list. Hopefully you survived the storm unscathed.

  9. Ami says:

    did you see that richmond.com swiped your phrase about “flinging children and pets into the snow?!”

    check the homepage under the Snow Day/Photo section….

  10. We got about six inches here in B-more. When I went to bed on Friday it was 30% chance of 1-3 inches. When I woke, it was 80% chance of 4-6 inches. Fat lot the weather guys know.

    We used to have lotto tix that were scratch-offs with bread, milk and toilet paper!

  11. Turling says:

    It’s not so much scary rain, as we are just a bunch of pansies.

    I do have a good rain coat. An old London fog that runs a little long for me, but works well. I bought the coat in San Francisco after marching up California Street to the office from the bus stop. After I got to the office I noticed my trousers from the knee down were drenched. This one protects my shoes and trouser bottoms a little better. Unfortunately, I do not own a proper hat. I have a rather large head and have not been able to find anything that looks good. I think I need to go to a hat maker and have them actually look at me and tell me what they think.

  12. Turling says:

    On another note, I saw your lovely city on the news last night. Talking about, you guessed it, the snow.

  13. Ami, I think that the Architect swiped the story from richmond.com….

    Turling. Good Lord. What people must think of us. State Troopers responded to 1,200 accidents. Good for you getting a proper raincoat. The thing with hats is sort of akin to the thing with shirt collars. Try them on until you see one that is proportionate. With a large head you may need a wider brim and a higher crown, that’s all. Or you may be able to wear the coveted (by me) Lord’s or even the Homburg models. If you have an angular face, stay away from a pinch at the front. If you don’t the pinch adds definition. The crease at the top is personal preference as far as I can tell, but it can play up or down the structure of your face a bit. I like the single crease and a slight pinch.

    Lisa M., brilliant. Hurricanes are a nuisance and you dealt well. I am terrified of tornadoes.

    We’re supposed to get “a wintery mix” tomorrow. Am I in Richmond, VIRGINIA?

  14. P-D. Can you believe it? Lotto tix are a great idea. Replenish the snow removal funds that the city grouses about.

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