No, not the way you’re thinking…

It was a very hot and humid summer’s day in Madrid — the afternoon after the night before — for Mrs. E. and me. We were wandering in the shaded side streets window shopping and wondering what, if anything, we would have for lunch. Nothing but a cold beer sounded good.

In deference to Mrs. E. I suggested instead a time honoured classic: the virgin Bloody Mary a.k.a. the Bloody Shame. Mrs. E. shook me off — there are things which she just doesn’t suffer well, among them are “virgin” drinks and decaf diet colas (or “why bothers” in our parlance.)

Instead she sat us down at an outside table (none of the restaurants were air conditioned anyway) in a cool stone-walled alley, whose soaring walls were capped with a building-to-building awning of red canvas to shield us from the blistering sun. In her flawless Caribbean, highly polite, Spanish, Mrs. E. ordered an ice-cold, low-calorie, highly satisfying, garlic infused

(From Classic Spanish Cooking: Recipes for mastering the Spanish kitchen by Elizabeth Luard)
2 slices day old bread
2 Tablespoons of wine vinegar
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 small cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
2 1/4 lb ripe tomatoes, skinned, seeded and chopped
1 green bell pepper, cored and seeded, roughly chopped
salt
pinch of sugar

Soak the bread in a few tablespoons of ice cold water with the vinegar and garlic. Puree the bread with the other ingredients in a blender. Thin it out by adding ice-cold spring water until you have the consistency you want. Adjust the seasoning with salt and sugar. Chill in the refrigerator for 2-3 hours.

Serve in a tall, chilled glass. Best drunk in the afternoon, while wearing your ultra lightweight sweater draped over your shoulders, your pressed white jeans, suede driving shoes and Persol sunglasses. It also pairs well with a small chilled glass of Fino sherry and some almonds on the side.

(This can also be used as a first course soup by making it a little thicker and topping with chopped jamon serrano or country ham, croutons, hard-boiled egg and diced onion. And I bet both versions are delicious with the addition of a single hot pepper pureed into the mix.)

(with apologies to the Fab Four.)

I had the privilege of attending a friend’s one man show last week. It was entitled “Stages: the Defining Phases of One Man’s Life.” Mr. Hester was incredible. He took us on his personal journey with humour, grace and song. I couldn’t have done it. It was tightly edited, performed and paced. Especially for a “vanity project.” “American Idol” fan? Head for your local theatre instead and support the people who can’t give up their day jobs, but will turn themselves inside out on stage for your viewing pleasure. If you are very lucky, you may catch Chris Hester’s next performance.

I took something else away from that evening. Watching Mr. Hester’s “costume changes” I was struck by how effective a single article of clothing can be in conveying a message (and the pleasures and dangers that can come with that territory.) With the backwards baseball cap placed squarely on his head, Mr. Hester immediately let us know that he was about to relate a few college experiences to us.

Our tastes have evolved over the years - at least I know that mine have. But, packrat that I can be, I have numerous ties, jackets and shirts that still can be relevant to my wardrobe, if used in different ways. Much the way that Mr. Hester’s hat saw double duty in “Stages.”

Take the conversation piece of a tie (above) that I wore to the performance. It is a Brooks Brothers tie ca. 1990′ish. I used to wear it only with charcoal grey suits and white shirts, trying to channel John Malkovich’s opening scene in “Object of Beauty.” Now it stands out (hopefully in a not-too-clownish fashion) as a fun part of a whimsical whole (at least that’s what I hoped for.) A “yes I’m ‘dressed up’ but I’m still willing to have fun” sort of thing. I think that for a casual Friday, evening at a live performance or cocktail party it would be a good look.

“You’re in a suit and tie,” you’re thinking. “What is so casual about that?”

Let’s deconstruct for a moment, the evening’s look.

Sober, three button, navy chalkstripe suit.

Red, white and blue, tattersall check shirt.

Spotted red tie.

Red and blue pocket square.

Blue socks with a miniature red and tan pattern. (Unseen)

Dark brown suede shoes (Unseen and yes, I broke my own rule against black after five.)

Fancy summer garden party motif Trafalgar Limited Edition Braces (unseen.)

That’s six patterns worn together in a more-or-less harmonious whole thanks to varying scales of the designs.

But it was the tie that got the most comments. Why? Because the large spots are inherently un-business like.

The lesson? Regardless of prevailing trends, the larger the pattern on your tie, the less formal it is. A repeating pattern of small pink Easter bunnies and multi-coloured eggs on a Hermès tie is whimsical but sober enough to be seen on a banker. One large, hand-painted hula girl screams “1950’s Shriner in the convention’s punch bowl.”

So, evolve your everyday look by repurposing pieces that haven’t seen the outside of the closet for awhile. But, be very mindful of the message that you’re sending. Some days it’s important to project thoughtful, sincere, confident. On others… feel free to send in the clowns, and show them that you don’t take everything as seriously as they think.

I know, I know, I’m the last one to try and pull this off. But after this week’s rant against the casual corporate world, I am determined to try and offer alternatives to the all-too-prevalent untaliored Dockers® and golf shirt/untucked shirt and $100 jeans look favoured in the workplace. This is made even more difficult as it is beginning to be uncomfortably warm — in spring, winter and fall I have a fighting chance layering for effect and using luxury fabrics like leather and cashmere.

This is my first attempt. Above you will see a riff on the flat front/polo shirt look. I’m wearing flat front, cuffed, slate coloured wool trousers (in a lightweight super 120’s fabric), a black belt, silk heavy ribbed tennis collar shirt and chiseled toe venetian loafers (with socks.) I would prefer a sportcoat and a neckerchief, but I’m trying to be as mainstream as I can without sacrificing the smart part of smart casual.

You can see the problem with flat front trousers — they crease a lot when you stay seated for any length of time. I also have trouble hiding the phone, money clip, card case, pocketknife and handkerchief that are usually kept in my pockets. Since wearing anything at my waist other than a belt is out of the question, this look requires that I carry a bag. In cooler weather I could wear a car coat, safari jacket or other light jacket and take advantage of the extra pockets that that affords.

The polo is older and somehow I managed to wash it so it’s a bit worse for wear. An even trimmer cut would be preferable. Silk, mercerized cotton or other hard finished material might wear better but the ribbing hides some of my middle aged weight gain (10 lbs, now — it’s always 5-10 lbs…)